The Dream That I Must Interpret.........

A few days ago I had dozed off on the sofa in the living room, at about 5 in the morning.

I have a habit of sleeping at that hour so there was nothing uncommon about this.

Anyway, no one woke me up in the early morning, and everyone left for work or college, so I was all alone (except my grandfather, and he hardly communicates, so I'm not counting him here).

I woke up at 10:30 am, still on the sofa, with my sleep incomplete.

The sun shone brightly and it was getting hotter.

And yet there was something different.

As I twisted my body to jerk off the inertia and lethargy, I felt HAPPY.

Yes, I felt happy.

I felt as if a great weight had come off my shoulders during my sleep.

Wait, that is not the right way to describe it. 

I felt like I was young again.

Hey, I know I am only 24. Young again? I am supposed to be at the peak of youth!

But mentally at least, I am not. Physically, one could argue that I could be fit as I was about 4 years ago if I try, but mentally, no.

So, I felt happy. Looking at the blazing sunshine outside, looking around the room, I felt young again.

I suddenly realized how "old" I had grown in the last few years. Mentally. Physically. But mentally most crucially. Because mental aging is so much worse than losing control of your tummy size. 

When I say "few years", I mean about three years, may be lesser. Two and a bit.

But that morning I was feeling incredibly happy, and young. I was feeling 17 again. 17.

When I was 16, 17, I used to go on long walks in the late mornings. I used to love it. More like a stroll. More like enjoying the serenity of the morning at its peak. Serenity? Because everything seemed fresh and real, easy and non-interfering.

I was young then.

And that morning I was extremely happy. Happy in a sensitive way. Happy that my youth was still there. Happy that the morning was so welcoming. Happy that, I can still overcome. Happy that I was happy! 

Happy that I still have it in me.

The weight of unfulfilled potential, wasted opportunities, years gone by in absolute lethargy, seem to considerably lessen from my mind.

My mind was fresher, sharper than it had been in years.

I realized that my slump, my downfall as an individual, had been so much a product of my mind's awful condition, than anything else.

Yes, I admit that my mind was completely screwed up for the last few years. Something went terribly wrong at some point. It was as if someone had forced a cloak over my mind and held on to it, to avoid my mind from getting the fresh air it so desperately needed for growth and survival.

But now the cloak was gone. Briefly, I grieved at what I had lost. I looked at myself in the mirror. I looked at my out of shape body, thought about my knees that were often struggling to support its weight these days. I looked at my face and realized that this was not the face I had in 2007. 

I looked up a photo from 2007. Yes, I looked different. I had looked so happy and youthful in 2007. I had grown 4 years in time but looked as if I had grown 20.

You know, you can see it when a person's face loses its glow. I looked at me (at my eyes), and realized that the glint in them was missing. They looked sullen in a dead way. There was no longer the joy that was omnipresent even three years ago.

I looked like a man trying to live a life because he should. Not because he could. If you get the difference.

Ah, I waved that off. I put on fresh clothes, after washing up. I wore my shoes and stepped out for a walk.

And then I also realized how stiff my body had become. It was an ordeal to walk a kilometre, including the return journey.

I was also not helped by some silly bad luck. My left shoe tore. My right shoe was already in a bad condition but this was it.

Half-way I took a rickshaw home.

But I had still enjoyed the experience somewhat.

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In hindsight, I realize that (touch wood) I have lost some of the anxiety and distress that I was feeling after July. After leaving MBA, I had maintained a firm exterior, yet I was shocked inside. It was life-changing for me and I knew it. The shock of it was so immense that despair had taken over my life for the next three months.

Yes, I took the final decision on my MBA. I decided to leave. But now I realized that the most important reason I left was not the expense of two more years. Not the curriculum. Not the chaos. Not the atmosphere. Not uncertainty. Not the field.

The most important reason was that my mind was about to crack with the weight of the baggage I was carrying. The present becomes redundant, and then a burden, when it involves deep personal strife and trauma. Sometimes we do not realize our own trauma. 

I wanted a new lease of life. I wanted the difficulties of my mental being to vanish. I had chased the MBA dream for years and years. To get out of it was very tough and yet I knew that I had to quit it. Because the apple had turned bad before I could relish it. I just knew, deep inside, that I must leave.

Dragging it to a conclusion by living in it for two more years would have been devastating.

When an atmosphere becomes noxious, when a phase of life becomes toxic and masochistic, it has to be left behind as soon as possible. Otherwise it becomes a cancer that your being cannot escape.

And I did just that.

But for two months after returning home, the past continued to haunt me and the uncertainty of the future left me shocked, bewildered, and paranoid.

That morning seems to have changed all this. Touch wood.

What preceded the morning was a dream.

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I remember the dream because I chose to. Psychology says that happens. At least my sister tells me so. I decided to remember it because it seems valuable.

I had boarded a train from one of those well-built New Bombay stations. My destination was Mumbai CST. The train chugged on. It was nearly empty. I was feeling uneasy throughout the journey.

Finally I reached the destination. The scene changed. My short work was over and now I was heading back. I had to reach the same New Bombay station again. This time as the train started, I was feeling distinctly better. Something like you would feel if your mind has been healed, or is being healed, as the journey continues.

As the train passed stations, some celebrities got on. Noble celebrities, I must add. A woman deeply involved in a real crusade that's making news today. Some others, less known but probably noble in the dream. I tried to catch their attention, but couldn't. And yet I knew somehow, that they knew about my presence, and they liked it.

I fell asleep in my dream. When I woke the woman had alighted, and so had some others.

I reached my boarding station again, happier. Outside the morning shone innocently, happily. I woke up. The woman had probably signified the cleansing of the strife inside me. 

All the while I had been travelling with some faceless, vague, voiceless friend. He/she was there just because they had to apparently. That was their purpose.

The train. The stations. The people. The contrasting emotions. The conclusion.

Do you believe in dream interpretation? Apparently it's not all BS, it has some scientific basis. But I will leave you to find out what trains and stations signify, if you are interested. They themselves have several interpretations. I know which one was the one that worked on me though. :) 

I hope this lasts, too.

Pranav

P.S.: The Westlife song "Seasons in the Sun" almost accurately portrays my state of mind that morning. Those who are able to feel the emotion involved in it, will know how I felt.

Mumbai (Bombay).....

Hello Bombay.

I will be saying this once again in about 197 hours from now - just a little over 8 days.

Is it truly the land where my destiny lies? After 23 years in my city I ventured out to Ghaziabad, to IMT, for my MBA. I had made up my mind then - that this might be the last time I get to live in Mumbai. It could have been the last time Mumbai was my home. An MBA today from a good B-school can get you a job anywhere in India and then you have to adjust to a new city.

And yet, now it seems that my destiny lies in Mumbai, at least for the immediate future. Which is both awesome, and scary to an extent.
Mumbai, I am coming.

Mumbai doesn't care really. Mumbai doesn't care about who leaves her or who enters her shores to make a living. Most of the ballyhoo about Bombay being hostile to people especially from some parts of the country is utter nonsense, and having lived all my life except about 9 months, in Bombay, I can vouch for this.

So despite the communal politics by all parties (yes, all), Mumbai remains defiant. Mumbai remains multicultural and cosmopolitan.
What is so refreshing. I shall tell a half-secret here. Any social discourse dominated by Marathi is anathema to me, though Marathi is my mother tongue. In fact, any discourse dominated by strong regional flavour of any kind is anathema to me.
Mumbai is the only city yet which has saved me from experiencing this travesty. I have deliberately avoided Marathi events, Marathi groups, et all. I have consciously done it for a decade and more and will continue to do so. But the refreshing part is that I have been able to avoid them without ever being looked upon either as an outsider or as a traitor. Something I have never found anywhere except in Bombay.
In Bombay the milieu has little time for these trifles. It is indeed a blessing for Mumbai that it is such a fast city, and a blessing in several ways. One of the ways is that it helps the city ignore trifles, ignore incidents of little practical consequence, and also ignore propoganda to a large extent. No one really has time to wait and ponder over whether the pavement dweller really belongs here or what some right wing party is bleeting about.

If a stranger walks the streets of Mumbai, she will for sure discover this ignorance in many ways and sometimes be befuddled by it. "People always seem in a hurry", says a friend who is from another city, a metro yet much slower and more laid back. Everybody in Mumbai is in a hurry to reach somewhere - many times the railway station or the office, but also to the nearest restaurant, CCD, market, PVR, or even to a stationery store! Everyone is in a mighty hurry.
In Mumbai time is counted in minutes, even seconds. Catching the 8:52 fast to CST becomes a huge concern of everyday life. People get fidgety if the train is 3 minutes late. "We have spent 25 minutes in this hotel", is a commonly acceptable refrain and 25 minutes in a hotel is a long time here if it's not Sunday evening. 

And yet people find time to smile at each other, on the streets, in hotels, in pubs, in cafes, and even if you step on their feet in the overcrowded local that can be more aptly described as a human demolition derby at peak hours.
Simply because everyone understands that everyone else is also in a hurry and facing the same hurdles that everyone faces in Mumbai.

The filth in Mumbai is nearing monstrous proportions. There are swathes of land breathing in garbage and dirt. There are areas you would never wish to see again in your lives. In the monsoon this gets worse.
The Bombay monsoons are sexy nevertheless - at least from the window of your home or office, or your car. A friend said to me a few days ago in Delhi - "Oh, it's raining heavily!". You wanna see what's heavy rain? Come to Bombay. When it rains so heavily that you can't see five feet in front, that is a heavy downpour. The thrill of that downpour is something no outsider will know unless he or she keeps all biases aside.

There is no real infrastructure except the swanky office buildings. Traveling from one side of Andheri to the other is a perfect nightmare, which can take hours. The metro is being built forever - the work looks like it will be completed by the time Delhi creates infrastructure for virtual transportation. The roads are "fixed" a few months before each monsoon but develop cracks soon after. There are hardly any checks at even major railway stations - this is actually humanly impossible due to the vastness of the crowds and their frequency. And there is more.

And of course who can forget the epic crowds? EPIC. A measure should be included in the census to determine the per square metre crowding of roads in Mumbai. We would beat almost any city in the world, hands down.

And yet - Bombay is gold.

Those who have lived in pleasant, slower cities will never realize what fun it is to be in a hurry all the time. Yes, it is fun to be in a hurry. It is fun to think that 8:52 is a very important time for us. It is FUN, to fight your way into a local. It is fun to grab a vada pao at the street corner because you didn't have time to have a proper lunch!
Why is it so much fun? Because the things we do in a hurry in Bombay forever define the things we do in our lives. The things we do daily are the things we find happiness in. Mumbai forever lives on hope. Mumbai lives in anticipation of a better future that can apparently be cultivated by doing all the things we are doing in a hurry. The feeling is this - I must do XYZ right now (or on time), it will help me gain PQR (something small yet cherished).

Mumbaikars live in the moment. Some people never understand what fun it is to live in the moment, what happiness it gives. Mumbai tries to gain happiness in small steps. And it strives hard to achieve this simple happiness. Happiness and comfort are always earned in Mumbai - the city throws out anyone who bakes their bread living off others' effort and wealth.
In Bombay it is a source of great satisfaction if you don't miss that particular train, or if after a hard day's work stretching into overtime you find that vada pao or pani puri vendor still working. These may be dismissed as very small things to be happy for, but this is what makes Bombay life so beautiful and many of its people so content.

And then you have a Marine Drive, or a Bandstand, or even a Five Gardens, to spend a very measured time in the evening. The fact that you only have, say, 20 minutes which you can spend here, actually improves the experience. It's like when you have less time for recreation, you decide to enjoy every moment of it and subsequently enjoy it more. The stolen moments of recreation are moments of indescribable joy in a Mumbaikar's life. Those who put effort into their day, toil for a piece of bread, and thus experience these moments are the happiest of all. Perhaps that is why the younger people in Mumbai are so optimistic.

This daily hardship also brings about a down-to-earth and friendly attitude amongst the populace. Bombay is known for its warm people. How can people be warm and at the same time, in an amazing hurry and blind to the surrounding atmosphere? But that is how it is here. There are some rude, arrogant idiots too, but by and large the city shows great warmth to strangers.
Perhaps it is just the fact that everyone is just a dot in the many-hued yet united picture of destiny. Everyone is running a hard race and thus everyone empathizes with everyone else.

Then comes the fact that anonymity is never sought in Bombay, it is granted, even to women. "Live and let live" is practised daily here - it is not an ideal sought to be followed here - it is the way of life. Mumbai does not try its best to be liberal, to be non-interfering and tolerant - Mumbai is liberal, non-interfering and tolerant. It's not a belief - it is another taken-for-granted facet of life, almost completely ignored, thus restored to normalcy. Perhaps because we realized long ago that we could not exist and be successful without being liberal and accomodating.

Even safety is almost assured. It is very heartening to live in a city where even the womenfolk do not fear to step out alone even at midnight.

And we do not showcase any of this. The substance in every facet of life far, far exceeds the exhibition.

Bombay is a crazy success story of human will and effort. It is living proof of what can be achieved by a group of motivated human beings. It is also a place where capitalism in a raw form has succeeded beyond boundaries, albeit not universally.
And yet we hardly get the appreciation due. From the most important bank in the country, to the stock exchange, the mint, and several offices and institutions most vital to the very survival of the nation exist and thrive in Mumbai, in the crowded space, expensive space, in pollution, traffic, filth. Just consider BARC and the implications of one terror attack on BARC - a nuclear holocaust is not a far-fetched assertion! And all this is in addition to the money created every day in Mumbai - by various private and public entities - a mindboggling figure.

Bombay is a complete bhagwan-bharose city, ignored for long both by its own corrupt politicians and state goverment, as well as the Central goverment, so focused on North India and the Hindi states. It is almost entirely self-made, brought to glory by its masses, its people, who have toiled for decades, each contributing their bit to building the edifice of its glory.

India might be governed elsewhere, its English-speaking youth might be earning accolades elsewhere, its best educational institutions may lie elsewhere, but India breathes in Mumbai and due to Mumbai.

And this is why I love Mumbai so much. Mumbai, I am coming.

I am a fan of relatively old Bollywood music. When I say relatively old I mean from the late 80s to the late 90s/ early 2000s.

I am not such a big fan of the films of that era, today. I was a big fan of those films, at that time. Why the change now? It seems those films were lacking way too much in creativity, and were way too cheesy, compared to many films of today. Of course there were exceptions but the general trend was what I just described.

And yet today I miss so many of the facets/ nuances of these films:

1) The oft-repeated love story, only with small twists in the script, in each movie.

2) The cheesy dialogues, and the cheesier romantic scenes.

3) The actors dancing in parks, on streets, in gardens, on top of buildings, anywhere..

4) 8-10 songs per movie (and 14 like in the case of Hum Aapke Hain Koun).

5) Movies lasting over 165 minutes, sometimes over 200 minutes.

6) First the depressed/ angry heroes (late 80s - early 90s) and then gentle and kind heroes (mid and late 90s).

7) The fact that heroines had little work except being the girls the heroes chased around.

8) The fact that a "hit" movie ran to packed theatres for 3 months, a "superhit" ran to packed theatres for 6 months and a "blockbuster" for a year or more. Today a movie that lasts 3 months is hailed as "one of the biggest hits of all time". Duh.

9) This one I really feel bad about - the fact that actors and actresses of that era had so much more natural or cultivated ability, so much more screen presence and seemed so much more real than those of today.
Yes, this last one is really true in my opinion - what the artistes of today cannot convey through sensational dialogues or dramatic sequences, the artistes of that era could convey through mere expressions.

And of course I miss the melodious music. From Tezaab (1988), all the way to Mohabbatein (2000). The songs of those times weren't just songs; they were musicals. The ample use of instruments coupled with the epic melodies made for some really wonderful music.

I remember how deeply the characters were brought out in Tezaab. Each character from Anil Kapoor's to Madhuri's to Chunky Pandey's to Anupam Kher's to Suresh Oberoi's was very well constructed and almost each character served a purpose in the movie. The film was great because of its characters and of course, its music.

I remember the music of Saajan (1991). It was in my opinion one of the most melodious albums that I have known. Then I remember Divya Bharti in Deewana (1993), and the fact that most of the movie's songs were excellent. I remember loving SRK's role in Baazigar (1993), as the crazy yet calculated anti-hero, and understanding the fact that Darr was his film, and not Sunny Deol's, even though he played a psychotic villian.

I remember Madhuri Dixit and Salman Khan in Hum Aapke Hain Koun (1994), a movie that lacked good direction and was full of the nonsense that is a North Indian marriage. And yet the movie was superbly carried by Madhuri and Salman and its music. Some of the scenes in the movie are so entrenched in my memory that I will not forget them even when I go senile in old age.

DDLJ was a movie I intially ignored and yet it provided the defining image of 90s Bollywood - the image of SRK and Kajol hugging in a lush green field - one for the ages.

I could go on describing, but I wish to cut it short. Suffice to say that I thorougly enjoyed the songs of now-cheesy and outdated films like Dil To Pagal hai ('97) and Kuch Kuch Hota Hai ('98).

And then came Kaho Naa Pyaar Hai (2000) and Hrithik, and he was awesome on debut. I remember how the kids went crazy over his Ek Pal Ka Jeena dance, his hunk like looks and his height, how the movie ran to packed theatres for months and then for a year, and how people boasted about having watched the movie some 20 times, 40 times, 60 times. (I have myself watched it 18 times and I dunno why, it was not THAT good!).

But most of all I miss the fact that many of us had long memories in those days. Our favourite songs and our favourite movies lasted months, even years, in our minds, and we cherished it when we were able to watch these movies, however cheesy they may seem now.

The internet age has undermined the significance of durability in many ways, and yet I might be speaking like an outdated idiot, or a fool, because 30 years later, the internet age of today might seem like a slow, boring, outdated time to those that come after us.

But that old era will never be forgotten, at least by me.

Boredom....

It's been about three weeks.

A lot has happened during the last 3 weeks and most of it has been bad.

But that is no longer on my mind. My path is somewhat set and only the wheels need to work now.

But this is BORING.

Boredom is one of the greatest curses in life - it is more lethal than the most lethal drug ever invented.

And it has followed me for about two weeks now.

In fact, since a week or so, it has become nearly unbearable. Prior to that, I at least had anxiety to help me spend the day.

One visit to Delhi two days ago was tiring on the body but at least momentarily refreshing on the mind. For the first time I was able to meet a friend who has been a friend for over two years. It was fun, CP was fun, the cafes were fun, the rain was fun.
And yet it was only momentary. The moment I returned to boring Ghaziabad I was pissed off again.
Delhi would have been a nice place to hang out every day. But it is about 30 kms from here. 30 kms to any worthwhile place in Delhi. About 25 kms of that is a stretch of uncivilized stupidity. How can there be a city in which there are NO sources of any real entertainment, where the surrounding is so sick-looking and unfurnished, where there are no street lights and where 70% of the crowd is a bunch of jobless vagabonds? Add to that the general lack of any sort of safety even in broad daylight.

I guess this is the effect of having lived in a metro for 23 years - I find some small towns very repulsive.
But that's not my fault, is it?

It's obviously impossible to travel 60 kms every day for entertainment. It might still have been possible if not for my shallow pocket and the hole that would be burnt in it if I were to travel to Delhi and back, each day.

I have wondered for a long time now, why was IMT not built in Delhi? But I guess it matters little now.

I am planning on one more trip to Delhi, again to meet the same friend, since I have some time on my hands now. I hope it is a 7-8 hour meet up this time, and no rain because it ruins the possibility of exploring a place, however much I like it.

But one more trip in 9 more days means at least 7 days of utter boredom, even if I manage to spend one day doing some new interesting things.

I pray to whatever I consider God, to make these 7 or 8 days pass without boredom engulfing me whole.

A huge thought....

I woke up from a nap last evening and felt like I wanted to rush back to Mumbai right at that moment. To hold on to something that still belongs to me - My City.

For 16 months my life had been built around a different base. I need to reinvent my life now, though there are no immediate excitements to look forward to. I need to stick to my decision. I am proud I stuck to my values and on my path. I wanna make sure I will continue to be proud.

What Is Herd Mentality/ Peer Pressure?

We have often heard of this term - peer pressure. Peer pressure seems to be something very unique, very strong and inevitable. It is mostly experienced in colleges and at the workplace, i.e. in less controlled environments.
So what is peer pressure? It is the pressure to conform to the collective lifestyle/ideas of a randomly selected group. It can range from very silly things such as everyone in a "group" being obliged to wear the same colour clothes on a particular day, by "consensus", to something as serious as committing murder/ indulging in drug trafficking.

But colleges and workplaces are not the only havens of "peer pressure". Homes are too. With home comes family. Many families make society. Apparently the society, by "consensus" again, establishes for itself some standards of how to live, called "values". These values are considered virtually sacrosanct in the sense that anyone contradicting them is liable for ostracism. Over time these values change, but every change is resisted by a majority of the society.

It is important to realize that even this kind of pressure to conform is "peer pressure" of a kind. In better terms, it is herd mentality. Everyone wants to be like everyone else because no one wishes to be ostracized. Everyone also thinks everyone else would disapprove if they did something out of the common, so they avoid doing it. Most of the elements in a modern society profess to be "moderate" in their worldview themselves, but explain that they have to pay heed to "social reputation/pressure" and thus follow the rigid path.

This is an ironic situation, and would be funny if it were not so omnipresent and serious. This is the exact definition of "herd mentality". People behave like each other, and pressurize others, or those they have control over, to behave like them, so as not to offend "society". The funny part of the matter is, if most people in a society conform only out of pressure, where does the pressure actually originate from? Where is the source of these "common shared values?"

Quite simply, the ideologies of a society are NOT formed by majority opinion. Those who create social values are mostly either intellectuals, or motivated classes. They are never the masses, in any case. Masses are of two types - those whose lives have to remain subservient because of their poverty/powerlessness, and those who choose to remain subservient to some ideology because they seek "acceptance".

In other words, social norms are created by a select few, and given the aura of sanctity, so that they are acceptable to most people. Typically, the people who create these norms hold considerable influence in the hearts and minds of the general populace, due to one reason or the other.

Thus it can be concluded that peer pressure/social obligation is nothing but a farce. It is an illusion that is widely perceived to be real. It is brought about by consistently fooling oneself and others.

This does not imply that having values in life is naturally undesirable. But there is an exigent necessity to keep questioning so-called "social norms" and to express, and let others express, individuality. Living in a semi-monolithic society is as dangerous to human welfare and self-actualization as it is ridiculous.

This also means that every human being must act in a particular way only if she/he sees merit in doing so, or enjoys doing so. This is true for each and every activity, whether it is knowledge gain, social service, or consumption of alcohol. No one "needs" to give in to social pressure, because there actually isn't anything of the sort in existence.

Indian B-School = A School to Teach Business Or a School Created For Business Purposes?

Nowadays, in the "boom period India", the concept of education being sacrosanct and thus averse to profiteering seems to have gone down the drain. This is particularly being brought out through B-Schools today, or is it?

Over the last five or six years, Indian B-Schools have concentrated on expansion - building new campuses in different cities. Every B-School from IMT Ghaziabad to IMI Delhi to XIM Bhubaneshwar has followed this trend. Even the IIMs have been unable to resist creating another 4 IIMs (and some more to follow).

Another trend has been to increase the batch size time and again. One explanation for this is the administration wants to bring in more money to fund its expansion plans.

The third trend is increasing fees. The peculiar thing is that while the market leaders - the IIMs - had low fees, so did the other colleges. When the IIMs increased their fees, so did the others! The fees for a two year PGDM/PGPM degree today, in many of the top 20 B-Schools, range from 9 L to 12 L for the course.

Let me link all this together. What is the motive behind increasing fees time and again? B-Schools do not need to invest in technology and hospital beds like medical colleges do. They do not need any infrastructure of a very specialized nature that would be costly to purchase. Why do these B-Schools create new campuses? Leave aside the IIMs - they believe that more IIMs in small towns will help students get access to high quality education and get the IIM brand. The IIMs have resources, negotiating power and facilities like no other B-School in India. And yet, IIM-A said recently that with a batch of 400 students now, they would need a rolling placement process. What is the need of a 400 strong batch?

IMT Ghaziabad raises its fees every other year and its batch size with the same frequency. The former has crossed 11 L now for the regular PGDM and the batch size is 420 + 120 students of a Dual Campus Programme. They started off IMT Nagpur in 2004, IMT Dubai in 2006 and now IMT Hyderabad will start operations in 2011. Needless to say the younger cousins of IMT Ghaziabad haven't developed good brands yet and have huge batch sizes and high fees.
MDI had excellent placements till they raised their batch size to 330. Since 2009 they haven't been very open about their placements. The fees are close to Rs 11 L as well.
IMI Delhi fees are 11 L and they don't have great brand visibility yet. IMI Bhubaneshwar is starting in 2011.
XIM Bhubaneshwar was on the rise as a brand but has now decided to open two new campuses soon.
SIBM Pune has fees of 10 L + and the placement details are said to lack transparency. They started SIBM Bangalore a few years ago. SIBM-B hasn't yet been able to establish itself well.
NMIMS Mumbai has started NMIMS Bangalore, which by many accounts is not a great college at all.

There are more examples, but these are enough. What is the purpose of this uninhibited expansionism?
Is education a way to earn quick and humongous profits?
Is education a business where expanding and diversifying are the buzzwords?
Does India have 6745361 good faculty who can do justice to MBA education?
Is there really a demand for so many MBAs? Add IIMs (some 2000 + seats), XLRI (240 seats), FMS (60), MDI (330), IIFT (120), SP Jain (180*), JBIMS (180), and you cross 3000. These are just the cream colleges. Add on an average another 300 seats in 10 more colleges below, and you get a total of over 6000 seats. And mind you we are talking of the top 20 colleges in India and about just one campus of all of them except the IIMs.
India has about 2000 B-Schools with say about 120 seats in each one on average. So it means that each year India produces at least 240000 MBAs! Where do all of them go?

Nowhere. There are about 40 good Business Schools in India producing about 10000 MBAs a year in total. All of them do not get good placements.
Nor do all of these 40 good B-Schools have great faculty. Many of the 40 have expansion plans (or have already expanded). Very few of the sister campuses are doing well. In fact, none comes to mind!

Is the demand for MBAs in India in excess of the supply? No, the case seems to be quite the opposite. The aftershocks of the 2008-9 recession are still being felt. A lot of MBA colleges are yet to recover from the shock in terms of placements. Is the MBA bubble about to burst? Looking at the speed of the expansionism policy of B-schools, the answer is a resounding yes. There are many articles on the internet regarding this too. Take a search and have a look.

In this scenario money making seems the only reason for such wanton expansion, especially in the case of private B-Schools. There is no other explicable reason, given that faculty crunches and infrastructural problems have already begun to set in at some B-Schools.

Loan repayment has become a major factor for a student. Increases in batch size, simultaneously with increases in fees has already begun to hit placements at leading B-Schools. The ones who remain at the fag end of the placement season suffer. They get pathetic profiles (or no placement at all), low salaries and what follows is obviously a long struggle to repay the loan and live a decent life.

This scenario also encourages the "monetary ROI" mentality I wrote about in my previous post, since an MBA is not much good if you can't live decently for ten years after.

The bubble is surely growing larger and will burst in a few years. The combination of increasing cost of education, lower quality faculty and infrastructure, reducing batch quality and the excess of supply over demand - leading to lowering market price for an MBA graduate - will ultimately lead to the demise of the MBA phenomenon. One can only hope that the demise leads on to another demise - that of the "good money, good house, good wife, good life phenomenon" so prevalent in Indian middle class society.

Measuring the Worth Of An Indian MBA?

I have been active on MBA forums for two and a half years, and now I am also in a B-School - IMT Ghaziabad.

Well, one thing that is repeatedly mentioned on B-school forums is the term ROI - Return On Investment. Mr. X usually intends to mean monetary ROI - the college fees compared to the average package. If the fees are lower than the average compensation, the ROI is "good". If they are higher, it's "bad". If they are extremely low, the ROI is "fantastic". FMS Delhi, NITIE Mumbai, LBSIM Delhi, and the MMS courses of Mumbai B-schools like JBIMS, are the ones that charge very low fees - ranging from Rs. 40 K to Rs. 2.5 L for the entire course. The placement figures of these B-schools are also very good, with average salaries ranging from Rs. 6-7 LPA to Rs. 14 LPA as of 2010. So you actually manage to pay off your entire loan (if you have taken one) in the very first year of your job. That is, undoubtedly, great.

Then you have the IIMs - the best B-Schools in the country - at least 6 of them are - with high fees ranging from Rs 10 L Rs to 13.5 L (IIM-A) for their course duration. The average compensation ranges from about Rs 11 L (IIM-I) to Rs 15.32 L (IIM-C) as of 2010. These schools then, by the definition of Mr. X, give lower "ROI" than the ones I mentioned before them. For the purpose of earning quick, these are less effective than the former ones.
But IIMs do give considerable concessions to low income students, so for these people, the ROI is good.

The third category of schools are the private B-schools which fall in the top 15 or 20 of most rankings, and are considered worth applying to by good performers. MDI Gurgaon, IMT Ghaziabad and SIBM Pune are the most prominent ones in this category. As far as my knowledge goes, these B-schools do not provide fee concessions to low income students. SIBM-P provides concessions to "lower castes".
For the general category in these B-schools, the fees are in the range of Rs 10-11 L for the course. The average (claimed) compensation that these B-schools offer ranges from Rs. 8.8 LPA (IMT-G) to around 11 LPA (MDI) as of 2010. Certainly, with no fee concessions and average packages lower than those of the IIMs, the monetary ROI these schools offer is lower than either of the first two categories. The fees exclude the expenses for a foreign exchange programme - a few lac rupees.

And here's the interesting part - once upon a time the IIM fees were lower than Rs. 2 L for the course. And at that time, most other good B-schools too had almost as low fees as the IIMs. The IIMs increased their fees and the other schools followed them!!

So is monetary ROI the ONLY thing that differentiates B-schools? Obviously not. The infrastructure, faculty quality, placement profiles, alumni network, international linkages...that the IIMs offer (at least IIM A, B, C offer) are way superior to just about all other B-schools in India. The resources that the IIMs have at their disposal, being non-private colleges, and the strength of the IIM brand, have no parallel.
For these reasons, IIMs are the coveted places. Given a choice between IIM-C and FMS, or even IIM-K and FMS, many students choose the former over the latter, despite the huge difference in the ratio between salaries and fees in the two colleges.

So, when it comes to the IIMs, "ROI" usually takes a backseat.

Okay. Now the ROI question does not arise even when comparing a non-IIM, top-10 or 12 college with a Rank 11 to 20 college. Because some of the top non-IIMs have great monetary ROI, and all have better brands that the Rank 11-20 colleges.

The question really arises when one has to choose between colleges ranked below 10/12, but not below 20-25.

As reference for viewers unacquainted with the MBA field, here is a ranking of colleges (by Pagalguy for 2010 - considered quite credible in general):

http://www.pagalguy.com/rankings/2010/national.php#overall

Now coming to the crux.

The ROI problem is not entirely dismissible. By that I mean that holier-than-thou statements like, "the value an MBA from a good B-School adds to you and your future is much higher than the monetary compensations."
Such statements are not invalid, but they ignore a basic truth - one needs to live decently in the years following an MBA. One cannot spend most of her income on paying off loans, work hard at office and then live in a shanty.
So for that reason alone, monetary ROI matters big time. I shall write about the tendency of B-schools to raise fees and the number of seats, and open multiple campuses, in the next post.

However, there are things beyond monetary ROI, ones that really MAKE a B-School. Student activities form an important part of this. The number and quality of opportunities the students get to express and hone their academic and non-academic skills, is an important variable.

Another important variable is the presence and quality of international linkages - exchange programmes, tours, faculty visits.

A third important variable is the quality of full time faculty. Learning through faculty interaction plays a major role and the role of the faculty, as a guide and facilitator is invaluable. The skills that a good faculty must possess are not just good teaching skills, but holistic knowledge of the subject, good communication skills, decent leadership skills (for example the ability to hold a class's attention) and a degree of maturity in interacting with the class.

A fourth variable is infrastructure - not just limited to a WiFi connectivity on campus. Library resources, e-learning resources, Audio Visual resources, academic block quality, all are parts of infrastructure. So are the quality of hostels and the quality of food!

Alumni networks matter because alumni help the college get good placements. Alumni also often contribute to the direct brand image of a college, and may take guest lectures also.

Then comes batch size. A higher batch size implies more fight for placements and in some cases, for infrastructure usage. This I shall write about in the next post.

These are the most important non-income variables. These differ reasonably among B-Schools, and considerable weight should ideally be attached to considering these variables. The problem lies in three things - one, the bandwagon of B-School placement figures and the halo created by them, two, in the lack of proper, credible and transparent tools or methods to assess the above mentioned non-income variables, and three, in the Indian social system (Yes!).

I shall talk about the first two here and leave the third for an exclusive post.

The first one is almost self explanatory - given the considerable advertising done by B-schools in this regard - and the release of a formal yearly Placement Report mentioning the average compensation - which all contributes to the "money is everything" concept.

The second one - lack of accurate tools - means that aspirants have no foolproof way of judging the true worth of a B-school, given the emphasis on placement reports and the halo created, and that aspirants are never taught to look at factors beyond placements. B-schools not only just put out placement reports, they often misquote the figures - inflating them. Also, very importantly, never does a B-school publish detailed data about the quality of its infrastructure, or any material that would help judge the quality of its faculty (A PhD does not imply one can teach well) . If an aspirant is asked the intricacies that make a B-school infrastructure or faculty good, she would have no answers.

The lack of stringently monitored regulations means that private B-schools have ample scope to lie and paint rosy pictures. Combined with the aspirant's focus on placement figures, the end effect is devastating to the noble and desirable motive of good learning, and of creating great managers and human beings. This is very sad.

The next post will be about a relatively recent phenomenon - continuous increases in B-school fees, batch sizes and opening of multiple campus, and how this impacts quality.

It's Time........

I have just learned discipline the hard way.
I had it coming for years.
I knew my luck would run out at some point.
It has run out now.
It's time to work hard.
It's time to earn the glory.
It's time to stop relying on intelligence, on natural ability, and on empathy.
It's time to stop believing in the magnanimity of the world.
It's time to live up
to the potential that is in me.
It's time to think really hard.
It's time to show the unbelievers
how good I really can be.
It's time to show the believers
that they believed right.
But above all it's time
to prove my mettle
to myself.
Why do I always wait till the water is up to my neck?
Why do I always make horrible starts?
Why am I always slack first and toil later?
Why do I have to learn my lesson always?
Why do I end up making a decent goal look like a hugely tough one?
No idea.
It's the dark side of me.
It's time to bring out the good side.
It's very high time to be damn good.
There is no way out.
For years I have rode my luck.
And used the natural gifts I have been bestowed with.
But it's all or nothing now.
There will be no more chances ever again.
I'm on my last chance ever.
On my last chance........EVER.

The Nostalgia I Feel....

Sometimes, many times, I feel very nostalgic about the times that have passed. For example, I was just wondering an hour ago as to how my life has changed so much over the past 15 months.

So I am just going to write some random dates here - they appear random - but they represent the days I remember, the ones which are memorable. They start from 1993, before which I was too young to remember anything of consequence.

October 1993....7/1/1994......Oct 1994....Nov 1994.....31/12/1994.....19/4/1995.....February 1996....March 1996.....9/6/1996.....16/2/1997.....July 1997.....December 1997......22/4/1998......24/4/1998......11/5/1998......28/9/1998......December 1998......January 1999.....11/4/1999.....17/4/1999.....2/6/1999.....August end, 1999.....14/9/1999.....31/12/1999.....21/1/2000..... 21/2/2000.....May 2000.....11/7/2000......27/9/2000.....31/12/2000.....March 2001.....April 2001.....11/9/2001.....12/9/2001.....April 1st week, 2002.....28/4/2002.....6/6/2002.....19/12/2002.....23/12/2002.....13/1/2003.....1/2/2003.....3/3/2003.....23/3/2003......25/3/2003.....21/4/2003.....6/6/2003.....10/8/2003.....5/11/2003.....11/12/2003.....1/1/2004.....23/1/2004.....24/1/2004.....28/1/2004.....14/2/2004.....7/4/2004.....25/4/2004.....19/5/2004.....22/5/2004.....30/5/2004.....6/6/2004.....2/7/2004.....19/7/2004.....1/8/2004.....2/8/2004.....4/8/2004.....7/12/2004.....25/12/2004.....26/12/2004.....7/1/2005.....14/3/2005.....22/4/2005.....26/4/2005.....6/6/2005.....17/7/2005.....26/7/2005.....27/7/2005.....30/7/2005.....19/8/2005.....12/9/2005.....30/9/2005.....1/10/2005.....5/12/2005.....10/12/2005.....2/1/2006.....February end 2006.....27/4/2006.....3/5/2006.....2/6/2006.....14/6/2006.....13/11/2006.....December end, 2006.....7/1/2007.....23/3/2007.....30/3/2007.....12/4/2007.....May 2007.....6/6/2007.....10/8/2007.....12/8/2007.....27/8/2007.....24/9/2007.....October 2007.....January 2008.....February 2008.....12/4/2008.....16/7/2008.....8/8/2008.....22/11/2008.....23/11/2008.....1/12/2008.....2/12/2008.....3/12/2008.....15/12/2008.....28/12/2008.....4/1/2009.....24/1/2009.....9/2/2009.....8/3/2009.....15/3/2009.....29/3/2009.....11/5/2009.....6/6/2009.....8/6/2009.....July 2009.....September end, 2009.....10/10/2009.....11/10/2009.....18/10/2009.....19/10/2009.....23/10/2009.....7/11/2009.....9/11/2009.....10/11/2009.....13/11/2009.....18/11/2009.....6/12/2009.....8/12/2009.....18/12/2009.....21/12/2009.....31/12/2009......16/1/2010.....17/1/2010.....24/2/2010.....1/3/2010.....29/3/2010.....3/4/2010.....24/4/2010.....1/5/2010.....8/5/2010.....9/5/2010.....16/5/2010.....19/5/2010.....24/5/2010.....6/6/2010.....10/6/2010.....17/6/2010.....18/6/2010.....6/8/2010.....7/10/2010....18/10/2010.....26/10/2010.....4/11/2010.

Over this period I have changed from an intelligent 6 year old to an MBA student. This encompasses most of the life that I can remember. These days are the days that I remember the best over the last 17 years of my life. They are the memories that will never perish . Each of these times/days/dates changed some part of my life, permanently. They may have been happy or sad moments, but they define my life.

And some more now...

25/11/2010.....30/12/2010.....9/1/2011.....29/1/2011.....8/2/2011.....14/2/2011.....28/2/2011.....16/4/2011.....27/5/2011.....5/6/2011.....12/7/2011.....26/7/2011.....

The Post That Won Me A Job!

Hi.
Back after a LONG time. Dunno why I was away for so long.

Anyway, today I will copy paste a post - my own post - on the IMS student forum - over 21 months ago - which got me a job at IMS! My Product Head told me one fine day that that was virtually my CV and convinced him that I was the right man for the job of content developer at IMS!

This post is and will always remain very special for me - because it secured me my first ever employment....


Hi Guys and Gals...
This is Pranav from IMS. Some of you had requested tips on Verbal Ability (VA).
So here goes....

Firstly, everyone should understand that VA is a section which is more intuition and estimation based. You might be really good in VA and still not be sure of all your answers all the time.

Now getting into the topics in VA:

1)Parajumbles: This is a very logic-based topic. There are 3 things to be considered here.
a) You must read all the sentences carefully in the given order first. This is very essential.
b) Once you understand what the para is all about, try to form links between 2 or more statements.
c) Usually the statements starting with "hence" or "so" or "but" etc. are never first. Usually the correct order starts with a sentence that introduces the topic, the middle statements explain it, or give stats or contradictions or proofs. The last statement concludes the topic or gives the author's opinion.

2)F-I-J: This is a definition based topic. Read up the definitions for Fact, Inference and Judgement. Facts are verifiable either in the present or in the future. Facts either have given figures or incidences which are perfectly verifiable.
Inference is a conclusion drawn on the basis of given information. It can be the result of a pure guess or a logical thought process.
Judgement is an opinion about people, places, things, ideas, etc. It is often biased and may differ with every person. It usually provides a conclusion about the person's view about the issue.

3)RC: CAT RCs are not content based, they are logic and analysis based. You must read the RC thoroughly and look for implied (and not direct) meanings. It is necessary to read ALL of the RC, because the most minor parts can be the most important.
You must get an idea of the mood, the content, the style of the RC as well as the opinion of the author. (ie. Neutral, Biased, etc.). The style may be descriptive, narrative, analytical etc. The mood can be positive, sarcastic, cynical, mocking, hopeful, indifferent etc. All this is very important to get a good idea of the questions.
Above all one must be able to gauge the central theme of the RC. If it takes two readings to do so, it's fine. Moreover it is wise to divide your time 70-30 between the passage and the questions. For questions your analysis while reading the RC must help. There are no direct answers.

4)Vocab: Needs good word power. The IMS word list is good, but not exhaustive. A good reading habit is essential. Read Nautical Miles. Also read the editorials of newspapers such as the Hindu.

5)Sentence Correction: This also needs grammatical knowledge. Doing the initial chapters in the BRM's really helps. You could buy some easier stuff like Arun Sharma or Trishna to get a feel of sentence construction. Technical explanation will go beyond the scope of this email.

6)Summary Questions: While writing a summary, all the important points in the main passage must be highlighted, but the verbosity should be excluded. Underline the important points in the main passage when you read it and while choosing the option, see that all these points fit into the summary. The summary should give equal weightage to all points and not overstress or under stress any point.Summary should ideally be 1/3rd the passage length, but this is the norm, there can be exceptions.

7)Arguments: Sometimes a question is given as: Which of the following if true could weaken/strengthen the above argument?
In such a question, the weakening statement always contains information that runs directly contradictory to the given argument or exposes a fundamental flaw in it.
The strengthening statement is the one that provides more teeth to the given argument, vindicates it and almost renders it non-refutable. Unrelated or unverifiable or biased claims or counterclaims can neither weaken nor strengthen an argument.

These are the basic things need to be understood to score good marks in VA. However practice is very important. 1 RC per day will help. In fact try solving some VA/RC questions every day, with or without time limit depending on whether you have problems with speed or not. Generally an RC must take about 10-12 min including questions. You could start by solving without a time limit, then keeping a time limit and slowly reducing it.

Hope this helps. Best of Luck. If you have any more problems you are free to communicate them.

Regards,
Pranav Joshi
Academic Specialist
IMS Learning Resources Pvt. Ltd.

This thing above will always remain my most cherished piece of writing. Presently I also need a strong dose of motivation and reading this might help me realize that I have potential.

I am back and will be posting more consistently on various topics from now on.

Good night for now.

"Family Legacy" and Women - Part II

Agreed that having some sort of a family system is good. The first part of my friend's premise is not flawed; the second is. Patriarchal family systems should NOT be acceptable in modern society. For too long they have sustained themselves through unified public (read male) opinion. Society till recently was much simpler and it was easy to define social roles. Of course this disregards the fact that women's opinions were rarely, if ever, taken into account. The society has survived. Religion has triumphed based on the subjugation of one gender to another. It is my firm belief that people who set social mores used their superior intelligence to make facts suitable to themselves, put logic into an opinion, and declared this the will of God. Women were never taken into account - indeed- this is evident from the fact that hardly ever are women priests. They are not allowed into places of worship as priests. Sometimes they are not allowed in at all, because they might "defile" the place. It should be amply clear what regard most traditions hold for women. People have been conned for centuries and continue to be conned.

So what's the relation between this and family name? Following the patriarchal line is the classic proof that women have no identity. Their names change when they marry. Sometimes their husbands change their first names too. Never heard of the other way round. Consider this - in Indian society, it is obligatory for the female to stay in her in-laws house, but a shame for the man to do similarly.
The changing name is a strong symbol of lack of identity. It needs to be corrected - even at the cost of causing the so-called initial confusion in recognizing a person. Here's a suggestion - the child should take either the father's or mother's surname till he/she becomes an adult, and then choose a different name altogether. This would also be a great way to throw away expectations or perceptions as well as provide motivation to excel personally.

I do not attach great importance to maintaining family "legacy" and identification with a family. People pretty much know their mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers, grandparents, aunts, uncles etc. even if they are named differently right? And there is unlikely to be any loss of affection if one is named differently.

The whole concept of familial legacy brings to the fore concepts such as "family honour" and other crap. There is no logical explanation for "family honour". How is my family to be shamed if I indulge in a criminal act? Does "upbringing" explain everything? Why do I have to decide what is right and wrong based on what my family believes? Do I have no identity? The irony of this is every member of a family adheres to the "family principles". In other words, there are some widely accepted rules, mostly imposed by social perceptions. Everyone in the family follows them, so no one really decides. And who decides social ethics? Some godmen claiming to have knowledge of or from the Divine, mostly not negotiable. Crap.

And women, as the physically weaker sex, with more emotional inclinations than men in general, are the worst sufferers. Anything a woman does is subject to the measuring stick of "family honour". This idea is extraordinarily hyped up. There is no sound logic behind this - it is cold opportunism translated into dictum over centuries. Period.

"Family Legacy" and Women

Part I
The other day I was having a discussion with R on the issue of "family name". It was more of a debate, and it centered around the appropriateness or inappropriateness of this system of "family legacy". The point in contention was basically whether a proper family name is essential and/or desirable, or whether it is outdated in the modern world and breeds intellectual, moral and gender prejudices. I am loath to remember how exactly the debate started, but it proceeded with R saying he'd prefer a son to a daughter, as a son would enable him to realize his unrealizable dreams, and also continue his family legacy. Now the staunch libertarian that I am, I was, needless to say, a bit offended, but we decided to take it as a point for a healthy debate.

His points were simple but not without thought: a) He wanted to be a great cricketer; a son would help him fulfill the dream (women's cricket is not as popular as men's); b) A son would be able to keep his family name. Complementing this line of reasoning he said that 1) Family system is essential to keep society in shape, even though the former may be patriarchal and flawed; 2) A family with different surnames looks appalling; 3) He admits that women do not get their fair share of recognition due to this system, but that this might be inevitable, and 4) The family provides an established standard for each of its successive generations to accomplish something in life, and without this concept of family lineage, such a measuring stick would not exist.

These are valid points, and deserve their share of acknowledgment. Points 1) and 3) are the key ones here. 2) is a pure personal opinion and 4) is an individual preference. So let me concentrate on points 1) and 3) here to form an analysis and express an idea. The detailed analysis in Part II.

God and Individuality

I saw some beautiful Ganesha idols today at K-Star Mall in Chembur.

Unfortunately they were in a set.

What I loved most about them was there was just Ganesha there, with a violin, flute, or a tabla.

The other idols of Ganesha were enclosed in glass, or just like wall hangings or pictures in frames.

I hate religion, but I loved the only-Ganesha idols because there was nothing else there to take away Ganesha's greatness, splendour.

Nothing else to diminish the effect of his individuality in other words.

These only-Ganesha idols were depictions of Ganesha as an individual, as a force, as a sum of his qualities of wisdom and intellect.

This is the kind of God that appeals to me. And this might only be my opinion, but the world today needs this kind of God, not the one who preaches scriptures, prayers and adherence to certain set virtues.

When I say this kind of God, I don't mean Ganesha, I mean God as a force or quality. The individual embodying the quality.

If we look around us we find inspirational people still. Sachin Tendulkar, Nelson Mandela, Stephen Hawkings, Dr. A.P.J. Abdul Kalam, still exist. A few more could be named. These individuals stand for one or another quality - balance, patriotism, knowledge, power, science, and so on.

No doubt they could be called the Gods of today.

I seriously doubt it was any different in the ancient days when Eastern religion found its "Gods". All these "Gods" must just have been extraordinary individuals in one or another way.

But religion in its present state has twisted and distorted this concept to encourage idolatory, discourage idolatory, create divisions in society, introduce ridiculous concepts like salvation and damnation and so on.

A person's salvation is achieved only when she or he is extremely happy and content, and looking to forces and qualities might just be the way in the world of today.

Because though some people may not like it, individualism is the ideal of today and will continue to be so for a long time.

And forces or qualities are nothing but expressions of individualism.

A Dilemma of Modern Times

Today I am going to say something about a very specific trend I have been observing amongst a lot of my female friends, something that requires attention, something I may or may not be able to do justice to in this post, yet feel both obliged to and interested in expressing.

In modern India, especially in India of the 21st century thus far, though debilitating gender prejudices against women remain, admittedly, there is a growing willingness among educated middle-class parents, especially in the metropolis and Tier-2 cities, to fund their daughter's education after she graduates, and "allow" her to study further without as much as a protest. Now, "allowing" someone to practise their own rights is in no way a sign of emancipation, but it is a start anyway.

Now the present situation in these households affords considerable liberty to the girl at least till she turns about 23-24. Certainly, I know several households where the girls are still controlled, threatened, their freedoms severely curtailed and their choices stamped on. But this is thankfully declining in pure percentage terms.

Please note here that I am referring to a very particular aspect of gender rights, that of "having no opposition" to higher education for women, and not to the generic idea of gender equality. Indeed, many, many prejudices against women still remain even in the most educated of Indian households, and even though a lot of the family keeps denying this, they keep cropping up through dress restrictions, behavioural sermons and so on.

Coming back to girls being "permitted" to seek higher education. I have made a very discerning observation in this regard, I think. But before that, let me concede that there is considerable pressure on me to become well-qualified and financially strong. Perhaps it is society's dictum that men financially run the household once they cross 25, and this expectation remains in today's world. To that extent, men's freedom gets curtailed by social restrictions. We have considerable freedom to make career choices, even marriage choices, but we are not expected to be unambitious and safety-seeking. It is also a matter of truth that biologically, naturally, men are the slightly more ambitious species, though this definition may not apply to all men and negatively (i.e. a lack of ambition), to all women. There are many ambitious women, but many more ambitious men, and this difference helps the society cultivate legendary stereotypes.

What is implies though, is, that in the "liberal" households that I spoke of, as far as making career choices/ seeking home comforts goes, girls have more choice than boys do, at least for a certain length of time. Now many a woman has two instincts: the ambitious and the homely. I have seen some very good friends struggle to fight this material dilemma. Just last night I was advising/ talking to/ consoling/ explaining to a female friend who'd lost out on a few interviews and felt frustrated. Like me, other boys/men face little dilemma as they graduate, owing to a combination of the social expectation of career success and a slightly more ambitious bent of mind. We know what exactly we have to do. Many of our female friends, it seems, don't.

What does a girl do faced with such an issue as this? She knows that if she were to stay home and not run after a good career, few would object. But she dreams too- of success, of achievement, of recognition and fame. And besides, if she were to follow this conservative path, in a few years' time, she'd start facing tremendous pressure from her family to get married. This would leave her in a very disadvantageous position- being financially dependent and blackmailed into a marriage she, in the majority of cases, would not want to make. Of course, there are parents who "believe" in a daughter's right to marry the person she wishes to, and yet the family pressure does come in when they believe she's getting "too old".

On the other hand, if she were to seek a successful career, she'd most certainly have to abandon her comfortable family life. She could do that; however the struggles and prejudices associated with a quest to achieve are very high, especially for women, in a crude male world. And the familial pressure does come in nonetheless; even today one of the first questions people ask when they see a 30 year old executive woman is, "is she married?" She also knows her reproductive age is running out, especially if she is the type who loves children.

In this double edged scenario, there is often the danger of the woman sitting on the fence, being neither here nor there, neither achieving anything, nor being comfortable about it. It brings about a very understandable frustration, because the woman knows she has been whiling away time and is yet not sure of what to do. Some finally discover a path, some drift into marriage with a faceless stranger, some others drift into a purposeless and wasted life- the worst cases.

Sometimes these girls/ women turn to their friends for help. The parents can definitely help; but fortunately or unfortunately, a lot (though not all) of our generation regards parental interference as an impediment, and fears that once you let them into your personal lives, they would attempt to control all of it. This belief may or may not be a misguided one.

One of my good female friends was subjected to hours of personal counselling sessions by me, though I by no means can call myself successful or knowledgeable. At the end of these discussions she remained as confused as ever. Later she even asked me to tell her what to do. I was quite miffed about that prospect; I refuse to ever decide anything for a woman in a personal capacity. It contradicts my life principles of being pro-choice.

Added to this is the problem that parents often fail to see the world with fresh eyes and discourage offbeat careers, or unusual choices. They also feel their daughters would be better off living closer to home and try getting them into nearby educational institutions which may be far inferior to those which these girls are worthy of getting into. This is very sad. Even sadder is the widespread belief that "giving" freedom to a woman is a "noble" act and demands extreme gratitude on her part. Consequently parents try to set moral and material limits to their daughters' freedoms, without using the same yardstick for their sons.

Last but not the least, fortunately, India is not the home of firebrand "feminists" who actually defeat the very purpose of women's freedom by playing up pressure on them to jump headlong into the competitive world. Isn't "freedom" all about choosing your way of life? Then why the pressure to conform?

In this scenario, I believe it is essential for women to take a long, hard look at their lives post-graduation, and firmly decide what they would want to do hence. In my humble opinion I would suggest some sort of financial independence to be a necessity in order to avoid having to succumb to outmoded familial beliefs and traditions. Women must take advantage of this double freedom they attain during these few years of their lives to pursue their dreams, realize their ambitions and generally live a happy and productive life, whether it is that of the CEO of an MNC , a small-time painter or architect or simply a nature-lover. First and foremost, they must be firm, determined and confident. Only then can they succeed in their endeavours and successfully fight and defeat the monsters of social backwardness and prejudice.